Our apologies for anyone who listens to Best of Both Worlds during their Tuesday morning commute — we had a slight delay in getting this week’s episode posted. But it is on all the major podcast feeds (Apple, Spotify) now. So you can listen on the way home!
We start this week’s episode by talking about getting out the door. Fun fact: We recorded an episode about getting out the door that was supposed to run in mid/late March 2020. But then a few days before it was scheduled to air, the world shut down for the pandemic, and there wasn’t a whole lot of getting out the door going on. So we had to table that.
But we are back with the topic now. How can getting out the door be more orderly and less chaotic? Then we talk about time in the car. Sarah discovered through time tracking that she is spending a lot of time in the car. In life, we can choose to be unhappy about our time or we can choose to make the most of the situation, and she has ideas for making this time more pleasant.
Then we pivot to hosting. If nothing else, we hope this episode will encourage you to just Host The Thing. Bringing people together is a lot of fun and doesn’t have to involve a ton of work (it also can involve a ton of work, but that can be fun too! Go ahead and make a fuss if you want!).
In the Q&A we address the idea of bribing kids for good behavior. When is it wise? Some people might think they would “never” do this, but life and parenting has a way of making things more nuanced. Adults respond to external incentives at times too.
Please give the episode a listen! And please consider joining our Patreon community. Our 240-ish members just got access to a “super secret special episode” that Sarah and I recently recorded. Membership is $9/month.
On the question of bribing, I think we all get confused between a bribe and positive reinforcement. A bribe is something you give prior to an event to try and influence behavior. So, here’s a cookie, now please go get in the car. The kid gets the cookie whether they actually get in the car or not.
Positive reinforcement is an “if-then” situation. If you behave at school then you get money for Roblox. The difference is important because positive reinforcement is a really effective way to modify a kid’s (or really anyone’s) behavior. Bribing works sometimes, but often doesn’t.
@Gillian – thanks for the distinction! Maybe a better word is rewards. The Alfie Kohn book I think I referenced was “Punished by Rewards” with a subtitle “The trouble with gold stars, incentive plans, A’s, praise, and other bribes.” So I think he’s confusing it too – an A earned by good school work isn’t a bribe, it’s positive reinforcement, and sure, it’s external but so is a lot of stuff in life. I’d write regardless but I do appreciate getting paid for it, and people saying nice things, and so forth.
Oh I agree with you! A reward is motivating. I haven’t read the book but the subtitle sure is a mish mash of all different things…