I am knee deep in doing interviews about Big Time right now, but long-time readers might recall that I have a book deadline for the next book, Golden Hours, coming up in October. So I’m also working on that. As part of that, I’ve been thinking a lot about my weekday evenings and this “final frontier,” as it were, of trying to use time in ways I’m happy about.
I know that my evenings feel a lot more calm and relaxing now that my youngest kid is 6 (this probably started happening somewhere between 12-18 months ago — when he could start being in the house without constant supervision). My older kids can also function as back-up sitters in a pinch. None of the kids at home can drive yet (kid #2 hopefully gets his license in a few weeks!) so on the complicated nights I still generally have childcare help there (my husband’s work travel has gotten a lot better over the years but it is still a factor in our lives).
A big part of my golden hours currently is singing. I’m in the middle of a concert cycle for my downtown choir — we tend to sing for 5-6 weeks, then be off for 3 weeks or so through the school year. My church choir goes every week through the school year. So Mondays and Thursdays I tend to be at a rehearsal from 7-9 or so. I’m home somewhere between 9:15-9:30 p.m. I’ve been getting in the habit of getting books from the library so I have something to read before I go to bed somewhere between 10:45-11. The time from 9:30-10:45 is not all available. The kids are seldom all in bed. I chat with the older ones as I’m saying good night. On Monday this week I wound up sitting in the 6-year-old’s room from 10:10-10:30 as he was having trouble going to sleep and needed someone in there. When I’m on my game I read books on my Kindle. This week I just scrolled. But the other bits of Monday evening (when I wasn’t in the 6-year-old’s room) I did get some time to read A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. Even if it’s just in 2-3 10-minute spurts it can be something.
(Fun fact: I got my 11-year-old interested in reading the kid version of the Bryson book, so we’re now reading it at the same time!)
On Tuesday we have music lessons running from 5:15-7:15, more or less, in the house (the teachers come here for 3 kids’ lessons — something that makes life a lot easier). I cooked fajitas (including homemade guacamole) and my 16-year-old did the dishes. This is another Golden Hours perk of older kids. We have a rotation of who does the dishes on which night and it happens automatically, which is great. The 16-year-old also took the 6-year-old to go play on his VR set for 15 minutes after this, during which I went for a walk outside. I came in and started a new puzzle while the 6-year-old watched a video. Then I took him upstairs and read some Magic School Bus to him (he doesn’t know about all the words in the sidebars yet…but maybe by the time he recognizes that he’ll be able to read to himself! So it’s not quite as long a process as it could be). I sat with him while he went to sleep but he was out by about 9:20, so I had 30 minutes to read before doing my chat/goodnights with the other kids, and then another 30 minutes to read after that. Progress!
Wednesday my evening started with my 16-year-old driving (with me) to go get the 14-year-old at her trumpet lesson. We’re getting those last few supervised hours before he tests. Then at home we had dinner and a quick disco dance party that the 6-year-old had set up. We probably danced for 15 minutes. Then he watched a video while I ran on the treadmill — quick 2 miles + some strength. Then he and I (plus his older sister for a few minutes) went outside from about 7:45-8:30 — it was dark by the end of this but he does love his TOAD time (Time Outside After Dinner). He was digging in the dirt at the end while I sat on the hammock and talked on the phone with the 18-year-old, who has a big final today. I am cheering for him! We came in around 8:30, had a quick snack, and then I gave the little guy a shower. It was shower night and…he was covered in dirt. I then read to him and went downstairs to do a puzzle while my husband was saying goodnight to him. I then went up and read to the 11-year-old for about 15 minutes as well. After that I read in my room for another 30 minutes before getting ready for bed.
Tonight I have an event so it will all be different. But in general I’m trying to think through the evenings — what is something I could do? My puzzle, my book, running on the treadmill, and choir practice are all the main things right now. Doing TOAD time figures in a fair amount too. The puzzles and reading are helped by having stuff on hand. TOAD time becomes more fun the more kids I can convince to do it, so I am trying to remember to ask, even if I think the older kids will say no.
What are your evenings looking like these days?
