Since writing 168 Hours, I’ve tried to get better about using my weekends. Before anyone grimaces at the idea of “using” weekends, please understand that I mean choosing a few activities that will be fun and/or meaningful for my family, and letting chores and everything else fill in around that. As a result, it’s Saturday night as I’m writing this and we still don’t have groceries. The house is a mess. On the other hand, we had a great day so far…
6:45 – wake up, nurse baby
7:05 – 7:20ish WJR in Detroit calls, do the Warren Pierce show
7:20-8:30 breakfast, puttering around, playing in bed with kids
8:30-9:30 go for run outside. Longest I’ve gone in a month, because I signed up for the Philly half-marathon in November and need to get a move on it.
9:30-10:45 – debate what to do with our day, finally decide we will go to New Paltz and see the historic area plus go apple picking. Michael rents car, picks it up, we pack kids in.
10:45-12:45 – drive north, hit Dubois Farms.
12:45-3:00 – ride in a wagon behind a tractor, pick apples, play in a miniature barn, eat pulled pork, watch Michael attempt a sack race.
3:00-4:15 – travel back into New Paltz, visit the Huguenot street historic area. Michael has been doing a lot of genealogy research lately and has traced some branch of his family tree there. We look at old gravestones with names that are somewhere in his lineage. Dating back to 1600s. Crazy – guess my kids are “DAR” types on his side. My side, not so much (see “Vanderkam”).
4:15-4:30 – ice cream. Dip cones. Only for the brave with a 3-year-old and nearly 1-year-old.
4:30-5:30 – death march. OK, it started as a pleasant stroll down one of New Paltz’s trails, but then we took the scenic route back on Huguenot street, and I was carrying Sam in the backpack. Second workout of day!
5:30-6:00 – drive back toward New York, try to find restaurant. Stop at Ship Lantern Inn (name?) Very nice place just on the highway. Serendipitous to find it.
6-7 – Dinner. As relaxed as it can be with 3-year-old and nearly 1-year-old. Baby sleeps for first part of it. Fried oysters, beef tenderloin stuffed with portobello mushrooms, glass of Syrah. Yum.
7-9 – drive back to New York. Last part little nerve-wracking as Jasper wakes up screaming and then announces (as soon as there is no where to stop) that he has to go potty.
9-9:15 – get stuff back into house. Jasper decides he doesn’t need to go potty after all.
9:15-9:25 – sit on kitchen floor, eating apples with Jasper.
9:25- write up blog post, check twitter/FB/etc.
10:00 – reading stories with Jasper.
10:30 – hang out with Michael
11:00 bed
5am – baby wakes up. Ugh. He has a cold.
5-5:45 – hang out with baby
5:45 – 7:15 – wake up Michael, go back to sleep
7:15-7:40 – sit with baby and Jasper
7:40 -8 baths we didn’t get to earlier. I get shower while Michael starts bath.
8-10 AM – hang out with kids. Sam goes down 8:30-9:30 so just Jasper for a while
10-2:15 – go to zoo with friends (who have car). See Wild Asia monorail, Tiger Mountain, Congo exhibit, butterfly house, etc.
2:15-3 – putting away groceries, try to get Sam down (Jasper falls asleep)
3-3:30 – both kids asleep. Enjoy piece of chocolate and read Wired magazine
3:30-4 – nurse baby
4-4:15 – hang out with kids
4:15-4:35 – Michael comes home (he had been at event), much running around as he gets kids ready to go out
4:35-5:35 – work, thinking through next book
5:35-6:15 – run
6:15-7:30 – work
7:30 – Michael comes back home with the kids. Feed Sam, then nurse him and try to get him down.
8 – 8:20 – dinner
8:20-8:30 – Sam still awake. Get him down.
8:30-9:10 – clean up house, coaxing Jasper to help
9:10-9:20 – Jasper wants me to play with him. House is not yet clean. If I have learned nothing else from writing 168 Hours, it’s that I should put down the broom and play with my 3-year-old.
9:20 -9:30 – get him milk, brush teeth, potty, etc.
9:30- Michael reads Jasper story, I am here at computer.
9:35-9:45 – talk to parents on phone
9:45 – 9:55 – my presence is requested by Jasper to read another story. Jungle Drums it is.
9:55 – 10:30 – read, get ready for bed, chat with Michael.
Links to other days:
SATURDAY
wake up make hot chocolate get distracted by facebook and chat on there for 15 minutes w high school friend haven’t talked to in 10 years!
7:30 to 8:45 work, about one hour of work, baby up at 845
play have breakfast w baby
play visit neighbors send baby to story hour w grandma., 10:30 work
play w o
play w o
o leaves for story hour at library, back to work
work, go through emails do a translation for an ad, catch up work, doing a bit more of this work on the weekends would help me focus better on big ticket work items during the week
work, send invoices payments
work
leave for mall with neighbors, get bday gift: note to self, should have like one to three gift cards or bday gifts on hand for this function, exchange cream, get some earrings
shopping
buy lunch for everyone, finish shopping spree
return fromshopping dress for party leave for o’s first peer b day party
go to party, practice singing happy bday in car to restless 2 year old
party!
party!
party, chat with other parents from daycare learn about new place to take child on rainy day
party goes until almost 5
party
stop at target, diaper meltdown, didn’t take time before party to pack diaper bag, note to self: get b day gifts ahead of time, o falls asleep in shopping cart, at least in a clean diaper,
arrive home, sit on porch and open care package of maternity clothes red for about 10 minutes, o wakes up ( a good thing since she fell asleep so late in the day, will be glad when naptime is over so she can pass out at 8:30 or 9 instead of at 5 p.m.!)
give o a short mini bath
play w o outside,
let o play out side with neighbors, call pharmacy for new prescription for o
walk w o and daddy ot pharmacy, nice quality time with them both, need to rework my idea of date night.. Breakfasts maybe? Or more like strolls with the baby…eating out and so so movies out just don’t have the appeal and going to bed at 9:30 or 10 is making my mornings so much more productive!
arrive home, play w o give o dinner, she is still very tired, yeah short nap and b day party! Get her ready for bed cuddle, read a few books, o goes to bed before 10.
I go to bed at 10.
Here are some of my learnings for the week…
1. working two to three hours on each day of the weekend even on catch-up or mundane work would help me focus better on big ticket work items during the week (this requires blocking in daddy or grandma time unless I want to skip a workout on the weekend and try to count kid time as my workout, or my 7 a.m. to 8:30/9 a.m. window )
2. books on tape – n eed to trade some of my reading list for books on tape
3. need to get gift cards ahead of time, it is cheaper to buy a $10 or $15 bday gift at the store than to buy $20 or $25 gift cards but gift cards seem more practical and time effective and general note cards seem ok for a kids’ b day so just use my work note cards
4. writing down my big goals at the beginning of the week or at the beginning of each day
5. rework date night.. maybe breakfast, maybe daddy and kid time.. maybe just try to get us all to church together…
6. going to bed at 9:30 or 10 as my toddler gives up more and more the nap makes me a more productive person at 7 a.m. or sometimes even 6:30 even pregnant! …
7/ All of this will probably change when I have another baby!
Friday: Slept until 10:00am. Did laundry and various chores, including internetting until 12:20. At 12:20, went uptown to eat lunch and see a movie. (It was my birthday). Movie got out around 3pm. I took a nap from 3pm-4:30pm. Then I did some more cleaning before going to my friend’s house for dinner. Dinner lasted until about 9:00 and then we went back to my place to start partying. Partying went on until about 2am.
Saturday: Woke up multiple times and fell back asleep between the hours of 7am and 12pm. I did homework during my little bursts of being awake, but nothing too productive. At 12:30, I went with my bestie to claim a prize I had won in the mail, which was supposed to only be a half hour away, but due to construction, was almost an hour away. Ended up that my car broke down and we were stuck waiting for a tow truck until 5:30pm. LAME waste of time. Next time, I’m bringing stuff to do in my car, even if i I don’t expect to break down (which obviously I didn’t). 5:30-8:30 was doing homework. Then bestie and some other friends came over to play cards until they all left to go to a party. I continued to do homework until 1:30am, and then went to bed.
Sunday woke up at 7am. Worked from 8am-4pm. Cleaned up my friend’s place until 5pm. Then napped until about now.
So while I was really productive during the week, my weekend was obviously a big problem…
Andrea- sorry to hear about your car troubles. This is definitely one of those times where it’s great to have an emergency item from the “bits of time for bits of joy” list around! I seem to recall that when a Washington Post reporter kept a time log for a week last spring, she was upset that the researcher characterized the two hours she waited for a tow truck as “leisure.” When she mentioned that her child was with her, he changed it to “childcare.” I don’t think she felt like it was either, but of course it can be. A tedious wait can be found time if we’re ready for it (in her case, having a good discussion with her child, or in your case, reading or doing a crossword puzzle or something).
Cara, I love the idea of date breakfasts. Evening is so tough sometimes. Or date lunch.
Friday: Busy, more productive day at work–pressure to report results in a more focused day. Return home with kids at 3:40 after school–unexpected/unplanned for playdate for one child at our place till 4:45. Rush, leftovers for dinner, try to leave home by 5:45-6:00 for religious school (equivalent to Sunday School) for kids and where I volunteer teach. Lecture kids on no unplanned playdates as we are driving– a little frazzled at trying t get to class with them. Return home around 10:30 and in bed around 11:00 pm.
Saturday: Wake up around 8:30, get breakfast and leave home around 10:15is for Swim Club assesment/registration for one child. Leave pool and head towards a Ringette practice/try out for next child around 11:15. Practice ends around 12:45 and we leave skating arena around 1:00 pm head to have lunch. Daughter decides she does not want to play ringette… oh, well at least she tried it. After lunch –head to Chapters/Winners looking for 5 gifts for the evening. Son is not too happy as he does not get to buy a book–kids are tired and cranky. Return home around 3:30 –rush to get ready, wrap gifts (thankful for 12 year old who can wrap), and make appies for party which “officially” starts at 4:30. Lets say, we rush, kids are still cranky; daughter (9 year old) likes NOTHING in her closet…. We get to party close to 6. At party till 10:30 pm. Overall, party is good, but hectic Saturday afternoon could have been avoided with better gift purchase planning over the week–should have ordered from Amazon, probably would have saved money and hassles.
Sunday–wake up around 9ish. Register kids for ice-skating lessons. Kids go to lessons with hubby around 11:20, while I stay home do some basic cleaning till around 12:45. Head towards library to start/complete assignment which is due at 11:59 PM today. While working on assignment, come to realization that I do not want to spend my time on this course…. return home around 3:30 pm, prep for dinner. Kids and hubby return home around 4ish–go for walk with hubby and discuss course/career future with him. I am taking the business graduate level course as a way to hopefully qualify for the MLIS, however the material does not interest me…and somehow, spending time on it does not appeal. Over 30 minute walk discuss options with hubby and possibility of dropping course till future date, possibility of not qualifying for the MLIS and focus on career shift Return home, email professor and school office to drop course. A little worried, but at the same time relieved to have the evening back to myself and family. Spend evening with dinner, reading Quran with kids, ordering books with my son and daughter from Amazon and actually making a weekly schedule with them outlining activities etc. Back of my mind, still wondering if I can qualify for the MLIS without completing the full GDBA course (I am 1 course and 1/2 shy of receiving a diploma in Business Administration). I believe I have a total of 5 years (used up two) to complete the full course… lots to think about.
Part of Sunday seemed wasted as I tried to spend the afternoon on assignment that was due, but yet on the other hand, I came to a realization which should hopefully help me focus….
Sukeina: It is great that you were able to use some time this weekend to think through long term goals, planning, etc. A walk with your husband while you talk about whether a certain course is the right next step sounds like a wonderful use of time. (And yes, when we really don’t want to do something, often that’s a sign that it’s something we’re not sure we want in our lives).