I am not doing well with the early sun. I popped up at 5 a.m. this morning as the sky was brightening and I could not get back to sleep. In theory blackout shades might help, but my 6-year-old has such things, and he was up at 5:45 a.m. too.
The good news of a long morning, though, is I got a lot done. I got out of bed at 5:45, and then worked for the next hour and change. Among other things, I wrote a 1000-word essay for Vanderhacks. I do write fast! (A skill that may not be useful in the AI era.) I got the 11-year-old up for his last day of school, then I ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I got breakfast, and showered, and then played with the 6-year-old in the playroom for 30 minutes, all before it was time to drive him to his last day of kindergarten.
I have been pondering time estimation and reasonable to-do lists this week, partly because each work day has been shorter than “usual” for various reasons (though there are no typical weeks). On Monday we had 8th grade graduation plus I took her out to lunch and drove her and a friend to a party. On Tuesday I took the 16-year-old to school in the middle of the day, then wound up spending 45 minutes hunting for lobster tails since he requested that for a special last-day-of-school dinner. Our local grocery store had a lobster tail, singular, but that wasn’t really going to work. I wound up at Wild Fork, which is kind of a crazy store. My daughter came with me and we spotted kangaroo meat. I kid you not.
Anyway, I got to 5:45 p.m. and had not done 2 reasonably sized things on my to-do list. I really like to end the day with everything crossed off. My goal is to make reasonable lists that can be done, even when stuff comes up. So I was feeling like I had made an estimation mistake. But after eating our special dinner, and taking the kids in the pool, I read a story to the 6-year-old, then came down stairs while my husband was with him and knocked out those two to-dos from 9:10-10:00 p.m. I don’t work a split shift that often anymore, but in general I prefer to keep my to-do list promises to myself if I can. (Again, that’s why the list is generally short — I don’t want to be unreasonable here! ) So all that’s on Wednesday’s list is what is supposed to be there.
We are having a conversation about what the summer screen time and bed time policy is going to be. I think I want to keep the 6-year-old on his schedule. The 11-year-old is a tougher case. Most camps start at least an hour after middle school starts (9 a.m. vs 8 a.m.). I am not policing the 16-year-old or 14-year-old all that much, and he is not going to be happy about strict rules. On the other hand, he would be on his phone all night if it were an option. I’m thinking maybe 30-60 minutes later of a screen curfew. Curious what other people are doing.
It stuck me as I was reading the end of this article that I remember when the podcast intro described you as ‘mom of 3, soon to be 4’ – and now your 4th is 11, and wants to scroll his phone all night?
I follow a lot of writers and also youtubers who I realise now I have “known” for more than a decade, some more than 15 years! How different all our lives look than they did when I first “met” them.
Which of course makes me think of your saying that the time will pass however we choose to spend it!
@Katie – they do grew up! He’s the one I feel like I lose track of time the most, because he was my “baby” for so long – but he is definitely not a baby at all right now.
I just read your Substack newsletter about leaving comments on blogs (I think it was from last week – I’m a bit behind) so I’m taking your advice! I read your blog usually several times a week, and really enjoy the snippets of life you share. I find that to be the most interesting type of blog to read for me, so I also love to read SHU’s blog and enjoy the para-social relationship I have with both of you 🙂 I have a slightly different take on the solstice… it is my favorite day of the year! I love the long days and the sunshine, and I find that at this time of year (and really throughout most of the summer) I don’t need nearly as much sleep. In the winter when there isn’t much light, I sleep a lot more. I try to take advantage of this time of year to be more productive and tackle more things I’d like to do since I just seem to have more energy. These next two weeks are my favorite of the year, and I’m really trying to remind myself to enjoy the long days, early sunrises and late sunsets. I would love to live in a place that has summer all year long, but since I know winter will come eventually, I try to savor the light while we have it!
@Melissa – thank you for commenting! I love the long days of summer too. But I don’t love popping awake at 5 a.m. given that I am tired today. Maybe a sleep mask…
I really struggle with circadian rhythms with the early mornings. I solve the issue by wearing an eye mask (can recommend a good one if you want!), but I realize that doesn’t really help with a 6-year-old waking up.
In terms of a phone curfew, the rule in our house is that our daughter’s phone goes to bed with us. Literally! We charge her phone in our room, so when I head to bed for the night, I take her phone with me. It is the single best thing we’ve done in terms of managing her phone use. And when it’s our son’s turn to get a phone, we’ll definitely be doing the same thing.
@Elisabeth – definitely during the school year the 11-year-old’s and 14-year-old’s phones sleep in our room too. We have an 8:30 p.m. screen curfew (theoretically lights out is 10 o’clock but people kind of manage this themselves after I say goodnight). But summer is a little different and I am hoping to have some time before bed when they are reading. So we shall see…
We all leave our phones to charge in the kitchen at night. Even my college son who had his phone with him at college now in the summer leaves it to charge downstairs. I use an old iphone as an alarm clock and my two sons have alarm clocks. Of course first thing thet do when they come downstairs in the morning is grab their phones.
@Laura – do you have a specific time that people leave them there though? This is what I’m wondering about. I wouldn’t let him have the phone all night but when exactly the night ends is the source of discussion…
Yes, we put phones to bed with a buffer between then and bedtime to support summer reading. The kids with phones (only teens driving independently) will sometimes just go to bed due to tiredness but most of the time will fill the gap with reading. We generally do all this an hour later than during the school year to make it feel like summer (and they don’t have to be up that early…their jobs at this time only start by mid-morning.) This solution seems to be working with minimal grumbling on anyone’s part.
@Melissa – I think it might be an hour later for us too – a compromise to make it feel like summer but not be a total free-for-all.
Blackout curtains really do help. I can tell what time it is by how bright the light shines in the slit at the bottom of them and allow myself to wallow until 6:30 (on medical leave currently). I personally love the long days of summer and feel a pang of sadness after the solstice because I know each day will be shorter again for the next 6 months.
@omdg- I like the long evenings – it’s just the early mornings that are messing with me right now. Now if there were a way to go from 6:30 to 10 p.m. that would be great…(we are more like 5:30 to 9 here).
It’s an interesting topic. Only our oldest has a phone at the moment, and his phone locks at 8:30pm. I think we’ll keep it that way, also because he’s more of a morning person and generally is asleep by 10pm.
Given that our summer holiday only lasts 6 weeks we don’t have a lot of time to readjust when school starts again.
It’s also extremely interesting to read about all the holidays starting, when we still have until the 18th of July before both kids are off school!
@Elinoora – the auto-lock sounds smart because then it wouldn’t rely on parental nagging…
We start after Labor Day, which is late this year (first day is like Sept 8) so that sort of explains our going to mid-June. But I know a lot of southern schools end in late May and start around the beginning of August.
On AI and writing…it would be interesting to have people who use AI a lot track their time in small increments and see how much time it’s actually saving them. I am highly encouraged (practically required) to use it at work (tech marketing), and after a year, I’m not convinced it’s saved me much time. Even if it’s been useful in small pockets. But without the data, I can’t be sure. I do see fast reading and editing as a very useful skill in the AI era. There’s so much slop to edit.
@Svetlana – yes, I’m not sure how much time is being saved. Maybe some. Like all technology, it takes a while for people to figure out how to use it well and to have it make them more productive. Email can make us more productive…and it also takes a ton of time.