One of the most common questions Sarah and I get is about how to find time to build and maintain friendships. During the busy years, it can feel challenging to squeeze in time for friendship — yet people know that time with friends can be among their happiest moments.
In today’s episode of Best of Both Worlds (recorded while we were together in Pennsylvania!), Sarah and I share six strategies for making and keeping friends while building a career and a family. From multi-tasking friend activities to embracing the “friendriarch” role, there are lots of practices that can help.
Then we have a cameo appearance from our friend Kathleen Paley of the Reframe podcast. She recently met up with Sarah and me for a fun dinner, and in this segment she shares how she made space for friendships during her years billing a great many hours at her law firm.
Please give the episode a listen, and as always we welcome ratings and reviews!
Thanks for the “if people come then they like you” pep talk. I am the planner (and I have a lot of young kids) and recently I have felt resentful that people seem to always come when invited but rarely reciprocate. And then I realized that I was only feeling this way about certain people, and that in general with my very good friends I never mind being the major planner.
So I do think that if you feel that you are the one always planning, and that you are feeling bad about this, it’s worth checking whether you are feeling resentful of the division of planning energy or whether maybe the people you are planning for aren’t necessarily the ones you should be planning for.
My best friends are both sports based – my gym buddy has been my best friend for 15 years now because we see each other every week for the gym. We’ve had to change strategy during pregnancy and newborn times, but having a weekly “I get to see my friend and also workout” is definitely key to keeping that friendship aliver for so long. He’s also a planner, which helps!
@Rachel – glad you liked that pep talk. Yep, if you are really feeling resentful of the planning and the get-togethers with certain people aren’t as energizing as you want, it’s fine to stop extending invitations. They can always do so if they want. But with dear friends you love spending time with whose brains just…don’t work that way…best to just be the organizer and appreciate their other wonderful qualities.