May can be a packed month for many families. There are lots of end-of-year celebrations, concerts, awards ceremonies, and more. Work tends not to wind down either, and for many people the calendar is as full in late spring as it is at any time.
This week’s episode of Best of Both Worlds is all about how to enjoy (not just survive!) Mayhem/Maycember or whatever you want to call this next stretch of time. We offer a three part framework for not getting overwhelmed, finding the right balance, and managing your energy.
Please give the episode a listen, and as always we welcome ratings and reviews! If you enjoy talking about topics of work and life, please consider joining the Best of Both Worlds Patreon community. One recent hot discussion topic was “Is it OK if my full-time job takes me less than 40 hours a week?” Lots of feelings on that one!
Question from an overseas listener – what are the 19 child medical appointments that Sarah mentions for? Is this usual for children in the US? My 12-year-old son in the UK sees a dentist twice a year and an optician once every two years. He gets the flu vaccination at school. He last saw a doctor in March 2020 when he was diagnosed with coeliac disease. I was flabbergasted at how much time (and money?) you must spend on all these appointments.
I’m not Sarah, but I can totally see how these add up (I added ours up as an interesting exercise!). I have two kids. I just counted and there are 9 ‘standing’ appointments annually (both kids relatively healthy, meaning no chronic illnesses that require many appointments with multiple specialties).
Each year we have: one well-check per kid (2), one ophthalmology visit per kid (2), two dentist visits per kid (4), one allergist visit for one kid (1). I do schedule their dentist and ophtho together. And this will go up when we add orthodontia into the mix!
On top of my own annual visits (as a healthy person, this includes annual PCP, GYN, derm, and dentist x2), that’s more than 1 appointment for month at baseline. I frequently comment that I don’t know how families with more kids or kids with considerably more medical needs function with two working parents!!! (I mean, I know how because I listen to BOBW but it’s a lot!).
It was a nice exercise to add this all up because I often feel like there is always someone who has an appointment for something that is cutting into my working hours (for a variety of reasons, I am the primary parent for shuttling kids to appointments). And it turns out…that’s true! So sort of validating, actually!
@KGC – yep, there can be a lot! One reason that a week where I have nothing non-work during the work day is pretty rare. When my own physical therapy appointments were getting thrown into the mix…ugh!
@Louise- most camps/sports require a physical within the last year for kids, so it’s pretty standard for kids to go for an annual well child visit. If kids have glasses or braces that will add visits and if anyone has any need for a specialist at all the number can rise quickly!
I loved this episode! I don’t really have “MayCember” since my son is still in daycare and because the school year ends later in Canada, but I still found the tips very helpful. Thank you for the reminder to schedule missed work time to make up for all the flexible times.
And the medical appointments…yes. My son has food allergies, recurrent ear infections, a blocked tear duct, language delays and is in his first year at daycare. I wouldn’t be surprised if we had hit nearly 20 appointments this year. At this point, we know the names and styles of several of the doctors at the urgent care clinic.
@Natalie – glad you liked it! And yep, it’s good to keep an eye on the work tallies if you are trying to aim for a certain amount of space.
For the kids at wedding question, if your kids were invited I would make a decision based on how much you will enjoy the event. Unless it was a family wedding, I would be inclined to hire a sitter so I could enjoy the event and treat it as a sort of date night. We got married at age 36 and opted not to invite children to the wedding besides my 7 nephews and nieces. Because we are from the Midwest, many marry earlier and start families. We counted it up and our guest list would have increased by 70 people!!! We wanted a smallish wedding and that can’t be done with 70 children. I was the first grandchild in my family to not invite kids but then 2 cousins followed suit after me. We let people know it was an adult only event on our save the dates so people could plan accordingly. We still have a great turnout so it didn’t seem to preclude people from attending. I imagine some were offended but so be it… a lot of guests told us they enjoyed the adult only environment and were glad to get a sitter for the night so they could really mingle and enjoy the evening.
I do notice that there are ceremonies that are held in May.