When Sarah and I started Best of Both Worlds a little over a year ago, we wanted to include listener questions. Our only hesitation was a concern about whether we’d have enough fodder to do one each episode.
Ha ha.
Turns out there are lots of questions! We love them — so many great situations, challenges, dilemmas and insights. We appreciate everyone who’s sent them and we hope to get many more.
Today’s episode is an all mailbag episode (the audio quality is not great — Zencastr crashed and we had to use Skype and voice memos from my phone. I was recording other people’s Zencastr-based podcasts that day that just canceled; we can only record on days Sarah is not seeing patients so we had to run with it. Please forgive us. Turning the volume low helps.) In it we cover:
How to move a 4-year-old (who doesn’t sleep well) out of her parents’ bedroom and into a shared room with a younger sibling.
How “type A” moms can adjust to the uncontrollable nature of much of parenthood. I am not type A at all; I just sometimes play one professionally. But both of us noted that having more kids mellows some of this.
What to do in the first few weeks at a new job to create expectations you can live with for the duration. A new job allows for a “reset” of a schedule. So how can the listener who wrote in with this question do it right? We had ideas for morning routines, assuming flexibility, and building in networking time.
How to escape from an overdrive/slack cycle at work, especially when combined with unpredictable requests and the sleep deprivation that comes from having small kids.
Please give the episode a listen, and let us know if you would have answered any of these differently!
I thought Laura’s advice to the public accountant with the yo-yo working style was spot on. I think it dovetails with Gretchen Rubin’s strategy of distinction on sprinters versus marathoners. I am a marathoner. But for years I worked as a sprinter as an attorney. I think most litigation attorneys are sprinters so I thought that’s how I had to do it. However for people like me that can create a lot of misery. So now I do as Laura does and I work a little each day on my cases. Over time that adds up. I can be prepared for trial ahead of time, which is almost unheard of in my line of work.
Anyway thanks for the podcast! You ladies are my virtual mentors who accompany me on my lunchtime walk (which I am able to take because I am usually not rushing to meet a deadline :)).
More votes for marathons rather than sprints, from another litigator. In a crazy-making industry it’s the only way for some of us to stay sane!
Glad you agree! Sometimes I feel almost guilty about my slow and steady approach.
@Kersti- nothing wrong with slow and steady. I can’t imagine how stressful it would be to crash on something on the last minute. Also, with the logistical and moving parts of multiple kids, I’d just worry something would go wrong and I wouldn’t actually get those last minutes to work on the project.
Thanks Laura. I think the guilt comes from not appearing “busy” or “stressed.” Looking forward to your novella—I read the description regarding the difference between busy and successful.
As a mom of 4 kids in a high cost-of-living area (also 100 year-old housing stock with all the idiosyncrasies that come with that) I am always surprised at how concerned people get about their kids room-sharing. I have 3 boys who sleep in one room. They are 11, 5, and 2.5. For the last 5 years they have never not shared a room. The younger two go to bed at about the same time, but the 11 yo goes to be bed 1-2 hours after them without issue. My 2.5 yo often falls sleep with the light still on as my 5 yo is “reading” books to himself from 8-8:30 p.m. A few things we have found helpful: 1) clip on bedside reading lamps, white noise and laying out clothes the night before (the 11 yo has to be at school earlier than the other two, he can get up and get what he needs easily without waking the other two), and we keep minimal toys in the bedroom–most are in our basement playroom. My daughter has her own (MUCH smaller) room and she if often upset that she doesn’t have a roommate. We have never had an issue with them waking each other up even when the 2 yo was going through some painful early waking. My kids just don’t know anything different.
@Gillian – my daughter is also the only girl and so doesn’t share a room. And yep, she sometimes mentions she’d like a roommate too! Though other times she’s happy to have her toys all to herself.