All podcast episodes get their own posts, so even though I already blogged today, here we go! In this episode, Sarah and I talk about Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done. We discuss her favorite parts and what I learned while writing the book. The whole remembering-experiencing-anticipating self framework comes up. So does the idea of savoring. And trying to flip minutes from enduring to enjoying.
Finally, we end with a listener question on “parent regulation” — how can parents keep emotions in check? Thanks for giving it a listen! And if you enjoy the podcast, please consider buying a copy of Off the Clock as a way to support our work. I really appreciate it!
I am a regular BoBW listener and just got my copy of Off The Clock, which I requested for Mother’s Day. Have you ever considered doing an episode on the sandwich generation? (Or maybe writing your next book– it’s a big topic.) I’m 46, run my own business and have 3 kids (7, 5 and 2), a 77-year-old mother, 85-year-old father, and in-laws in their 70s as well. My parents are local and right now they are in pretty good health and help a lot with the kids, but I know that within a few years we will be helping them instead. My husband’s parents are a few hours drive and we’ve already had times that he has had to leave suddenly to be with them for a medical emergency. I’d be very interested in any insights you can offer. I know more of this is coming and it will be enormously challenging, but I’m not sure what I can do to prepare.
@Becky- thank you for asking for the book for Mother’s Day! What a great idea. The sandwich generation – or at least the topic of caring for older relatives – is certainly a good one. Neither Sarah nor I have really had to deal with this so it’s not something we have any experience with. But we will be on the lookout for guests who might have practical tips to share.
Hearing about the different types of self reminds me of type 2 fun. That idea that the present self can hate something in the moment, but the reflective self is so stoked to have done it. I love type 2 fun! I even recently read motherhood in the early years described as type 2 fun.
I liked the listener question. My approach actually stems from advice from Aha Parenting, combined a little bit with what I’ve read about the book Ignore It (which I did some reading about when Sarah mentioned it a while ago). If I am telling my son he can’t do/have something that he’s asked for, or if I’m asking him to do something then I will say something once with empathy, but then ignore any whinging that might follow. It’s when I engage in bickering that I will lose control.
For example: “I’m sorry Ted, we can’t go to the park after kindy today. I know you really enjoyed it yesterday but we have to get home in time for me to go to work”. Then if he starts whinging about it I don’t say anything more. If on the other hand he asks calmly if we can go on another day then I will talk to him about the options. It’s a matter of ignoring the undesirable behaviour, not ignoring the kid!
@Tyra – yep, the Type 2 fun framework is also a good way to think about it. Things that will be fun after the fact…
I highly, highly recommend the app ATracker PRO for time tracking. It’s awesome. You set-up categories. You can even set-up icons for each categories, which is nice to have that association. In your homescreen, you just tap the activity you are on to start, and tap again once you’re finished. I track big chunks of time. My next goal is to start tracking work projects. I have tried MANY time tracking app and this is the one I’ve stuck to. You can view it in a day view or a week view.
For example, here are my categories:
Cook
Clean
Gym
Class Reading (I work full-time pursuing an MA part-time)
Reading (Recreational reading)
Internet
TV
Commute
Also, unrelated, but Sarah mentions pumping a lot. I’m part of the listener audience that doesn’t have kids (but planning to in the future) but loves to listen to this podcast and I’ve be interested in hearing more about breastfeeding vs. formula. Whether in a Q&A or an entire episode. My questions are: What are the benefits of breastfeeding? In general, I have the impression that it’s beneficial, but I don’t know why/how. (I’m a Questioner…). How can you make breastfeeding work when you’re full-time? What recommendations do you have in terms of timing, scheduling, sessions (I literally have no idea how any of this works)? What are your favorite products? If a mother needs to do formula, are there any recommendations with this? (For example, perhaps trying to breastfeed for as long as you can, even if that’s a short amount of time, and then switching?) Are there cases in which a mother cannot breastfeed?
Another interesting topic would be on childbirth…There seem to be so many options now (homebirths, hypnobirthing, medicated, non-medicated). I would be interested in having a guest on (like the fertility guest) who could talk about some of these topics while also, as always, hopefully talking about their experience as a working mom.