Best of Both Worlds podcast: Work/Life balance revisited with Rebecca Fike

Work/life balance can change over the years as life and work both change. So for this week’s episode of Best of Both Worlds, we thought we’d revisit an early guest.

Rebecca Fike, a longtime blogger known online as “Lag Liv,” is a lawyer and mother of three. She first joined us in February 2018, and is now back to talk with Sarah about her new job, moving, and parenting older kids.

In the intro, Sarah and I share a few life updates, and then this week’s question comes from a listener with young kids who wants to get into running. We share some tips but a major one for any new runners is…slow down. Seriously. Think comically slow plus walk breaks every other minute. If you do that, though, you’ll be able to keep going, and build up your stamina over time. Finding time is a different matter — but that actually wasn’t this listener’s problem!

Sarah and I will be hosting our Patreon online meet-up this Thursday at noon. We’re talking all things summer reading. If you join before Thursday you can tune in for the discussion. Hope to see you there!


15 thoughts on “Best of Both Worlds podcast: Work/Life balance revisited with Rebecca Fike

  1. Great episode! I really enjoy Rebecca’s blog and thought this was a really interesting interview.

    It’s certainly a position of privilege to be able to hire household help, and I LOVE hearing about other women who are crushing it at their careers such that this is an important and achievable part of their toolkit for making all of the pieces fit together. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Completely agree. Rebecca was so lucky to have her friend that gave her the suggestion to hire more help around the house. I know I really wasn’t aware of my options either since my Mom stayed at home and just did everything. And, for a while, I figured we should save the $$ since I “could” do it, not really thinking much about whether I “should”. This episode may have inspired me to hire even more help, especially when we go back to the office in a hybrid environment. When she hired the 30-40 hours/week of household work she was doing, it definitely run true to me, as well. And a partner who literally does not see the socks on the floor, the lightbulb that needs changing, or more toilet paper 🙂 I think she was smart to realize that those things are easy for some, and not so easy for others, so using a bit of her salary to reduce the mental energy of following up or just doing it herself was probably $$ we’ll spent.

      1. @Sara – there is a big gap between having the $$ to outsource things and knowing what will actually make life easier. That’s one of the reasons we started BOBW. There are a number of people who believe that if you have a lot of money, naturally all your problems are solved. This isn’t true. Money can solve problems. But you need to know what to do with it!

  2. To the person who wrote in asking for advice about starting to run, I’d add, “Look for a local training group.” You could see if there is either a run-walk group (look for the name “Galloway”) or a “zero to fit” group. The structure and camaraderie might help you stay motivated in a way that just following a training plan doesn’t.

  3. Loved this update from Rebecca! I’m reminded of the aha moment I had years ago when I realized that housekeeping is a totally distinct job from caring for children, and stay at home moms/parents who assume both jobs are their responsibility are literally taking on two jobs to their partner’s one job outside the house. Plus you can totally be good at one and not the other!

  4. I have never heard of or thought about the idea of a household manager until this episode and am so so grateful to have been introduced to the concept. I have probably told at least 5 other people about it since listening! I’m in the midst of trying to figure out my life plan and I feel like this opens up a possible door that I didn’t know existed. Super helpful.

    1. @KGC- I have found that in many families where mom has a (high-paying) job involving travel and long and unpredictable hours, this winds up being a big part of it. A nanny might do some of this stuff, but once you have kids who don’t need a full-time nanny, you need another adult person doing stuff in the house.

  5. I loved this episode and especially loved how her mentor stepped in and told her she needed more help! Since this was recorded, I know they have planned to move due to the awful commute. I hope they were able to retain their household manager because she sounded great!

    For the person trying to get into running, I started from scratch after having my 2nd baby and was told by the pelvic floor therapist to take it very slow and gradual when getting back to running. She had be do intervals like Laura and SHU suggested. I think I started with run 1 minute, walk 30 seconds and then increased the run time by 30-60 seconds each week. But I used a tabata timer so I wouldn’t have to always be looking at my watch! There are lots of free aps out there. I hate looking at my watch all the time so that ap made the intervals much more enjoyable. I started running in the spring when I was about 4-5 months pp and then ran a 10 mile race in October. I think a 10k might have been a better goal, though. 10 miles was kind of a lot, especially since I was bf’ing and we were sick a lot that fall.

  6. I came here to post the same thing, @KGC! I’d love to hear more about this, as I’ve never heard of such a thing before. What does this person do? How many hours does he/she do a week? How did you find this person?
    Such a fan of LagLiv, too!

    1. I would love to see a job description and requirements for this household manager as well as expected pay. Would “reading my mind” be too vague?:) I sometimes get frustrated because having to delegate feels like more work than just doing it myself.

      1. @WL – “Reading my mind” would be a great job…I’m sure we can find some more info on the whole ‘household manager’ concept and post here soon.

        1. I’d love to hear a person who does this job interviewed on BOBW! Maybe LagLiv’s person or someone else might be willing to come on? It would be so helpful to hear more about job duties, expectations, pay, etc. Thanks for considering!

    2. @CNM – from the episode it sounds like Lagliv planned on having it be around a 20-hour a week job but it wound up being full-time. Life can get complicated!

  7. Great episode and interview. I went back to listen to her first interview as well. Like other commenters, I also want a House Manager immediately and told my friends about it. This would be a great deeper dive as I’m getting into all school age kids and work travel and in-office is ramping up (and I am dreading it) so this could help make life run a bit smoother. Very intrigued by this type of support.

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