Parenting is quite the roller coaster. There can be bliss and despair, sometimes in the same hour! In this episode of Best of Both Worlds, Sarah and I discuss some parenting highs and lows. Interestingly, many of the lows involve kid fits and hotel rooms. Did we mention that vacations with little kids are not relaxing? I think it’s come up a few times 🙂
We talk about what we’ve learned from and admire about our kids. Yep, all eight of them! To me, one of the most fascinating parts of parenthood is seeing kids grow up to be very much their own people. They are different from their parents, which is often a good thing.
Please give the episode a listen! As always, we appreciate a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts.
@Laura: Your hotel experience (someone calling you into the front desk for having a crying child) sounds terrible. Ditto with the beach-house. Ugh. I reckon neither of the complainants has had young children!
I also have a “physically enthusiastic” 6-year-old and it is nerve-wracking to watch him interact as he is a bit of a wild card. He just loses control of his emotions and often uses his hands to “communicate.” Listening to your struggles was reassuring. (Oddly enough, he is by far the more cuddly and sensitive child in our family; yet the most physically volatile).
@Elisabeth – it is nerve-wracking!! He can be so sweet and sensitive (I have a lovely card on my desk from him right now) but yes, he is apt to get in little altercations. The families who know us are usually fine (or assume their own kids were also instigating) but when it’s people we don’t know it’s just a lot…harder.
I have vague memories of my now-11-year-old kicking random people when he was younger, and clearly he no longer does that so I assume it is a phase…
Listening now to the low points and I’m struck by the comments about the kids who are always physical, or for whom teachers are calling you about behavioral issues. I dealt with this early on. After years of early intervention, therapy, and other treatments, two neuropsych tests diagnosed anxiety at age 3 and ADHD at 6. With targeted medications, my now 14 year old is doing worlds better than he did in those early years and has the self knowledge to understand what’s behind his behavior. Is it possible there’s an undiagnosed behavioral or neurological thing going on?
I was struck by this too because it reminded me of my own child for whom we have been on a rough diagnostic journey for a while. While mine has severe anxiety and that’s definitely part of the issue and there may be more (currently undergoing diagnostic monitoring for ADHD) it was by FAR the worst when she was also at a school that was a terrible fit. We had two observers in to watch who both noted my daughter was often the only one getting called out for behavior that many other kids were also displaying. With some teachers once they decide your kid is trouble it’s OVER. Also, I think there are major gender expectations going on too- she actually very rarely hit or did anything actually aggressive at school but was just “wild” and one physical outburst was IT for the school sending us down this road of figuring out what other help she needs. Hearing parents accept that their sons hit and kick other kids is just fascinating to me because it’s definitely zero tolerance for girls. My daughter once with fairly extreme aggravation kicked another little girl away from her (she was not hurt) and that was it, no more play dates ever with that family. It’s been pretty heartbreaking at times.
I really liked this episode! It was nice hearing you be a little more vulnerable than usual and it made me reflect on what I like about my own kids. Thanks!