When you say the phrase “good mother” what images does that conjure up? Where do those images come from?
In this week’s episode of Best of Both Worlds, Sarah interviews Nancy Reddy, author of the new book The Good Mother Myth. They talk through many of these myths — those that apply to the early years and the later parenting years too — with a nod to where they came from and where we might go next.
In the Q&A we tackle a question on how to find babysitters. Please give the episode a listen! And please consider joining our Best of Both Worlds Patreon community. This week we’ll be gathering by Zoom on Wednesday at 2 p.m. eastern to discuss “The Adventure Project” — little ways to keep life more interesting.
I hope that you have received the email that I sent you that tells you that I’m unable to include any images, including the screenshots of the records of my discussion with Dr. Elena Lister about 2 to 3 years ago about what it means to be a parent and what makes me competent as a parent, in this comment, Ms. Laura Vanderkam. If you don’t have time to reply to this email right now, you can take your time to reply later.
I’ve also reached out to Ms. Nancy Reddy to connect.
Yes, we did get to discuss it via email, Ms. Laura Vanderkam.
It’s actually why I love this podcast and you and Sarah – I love the line about loving your career and your family. I remember being on mat leave and hearing so many women talking about how they were trying to find ways not to go back to work – which is totally fine for them, particularly if it what they really wanted – but also was not how I felt at all. I had (have) a great job and had no intention of not working. I just remember thinking “i would be crazy to quit”. I just don’t feel like there’s that much dialogue in this vein out there. That I do love my kids and family life but I also still want (and need) to work and it is not necessarily in opposition to being a good mother. So thanks for that!
One thing I’ve been struck by lately is how much pressure we put on ourselves for our children’s early years and spending all the time with them but the truth is they don’t remember. My 7 and 11 year old kids know they went to daycare and we even pass by it but have no more than fleeting memories of it. We can be so hard on ourselves about all the ‘shoulds’ and i guess in the early years that feel so hard to let the pressure off.
@Jen – yes, kids don’t really remember the early years – if they’re safe and well cared for then all is good. If anything, I think it’s good to lean in early and then have more flexibility later when the kids actually remember the time you spend together!